Harry Potter and the Lord of the Cameras
by Perfect Tenshi
Summary: Hogwarts is fine and dandy when Perfect Tenshi (me) shows up to ruin it all by putting them into her movie, the Lord of the Cameras: The Fellowship of the Camera


Hogwarts was just sitting down to lunch on that fine school day, when everything was ruined. Well, not really ruined, but… Well, you'll see.

Anyway, Hogwarts was sitting at lunch when everything was interrupted by extremely large amounts of bangs, pops, and multicolored flashes. When the smoke finally cleared, there was a girl posing on top of the staff table wearing a hot pink sweatshirt that went down to her knees and lime green stretch pants. Her brown hair was in a high ponytail.

Immediately, everyone looked to Fred and George, who somehow managed to look just as amazed as the rest of the students and staff.

"The FFFFUUUUUUNNNNN has AARRRRIIIIVVVEEEDDD!!!!!"

Now everyone looked back up top. The new girl had changed her pose and now had a microphone. She stepped forward, and a thunderstorm that had conveniently just popped up added a flash of lightning and a crash of thunder behind her.

"Howdy, y'all, I'm Perfect Tenshi, otherwise known as PT and, by the way, Fred and George didn't do this! Sooo…. Well, I'm here to present to y'all a wonderful movie, which some, or all, of you will be participating in! Doesn't that sound fun? This will be Hogwarts' first production, so everyone sit back and relax, and afterwards, you can all watch it! Of course, during the movie, if you're not a main character, you will be temporarily transported to your scene to act it out, then transported back, unless, of course, something… odd… happens. THANK YOU, and enjoy the show!"

The lights dimmed, and suddenly everyone was sitting in a movie-theater like setting, complete with popcorn, water, and a giant screen where the staff table should be. To start out the movie, several people were missing here and there, the most notable being almost the entire Ravenclaw and Gryffindor tables.

Fancy words soon popped up on the screen. THE LORD OF THE CAMERAS, THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE CAMERA.

Pretty music started playing and a girl off screen could be heard whispering. Soon the voice got louder, and to everyone's surprise it was Perfect Tenshi.

Perfect Tenshi: The world is changing… All kinds of things are happening… Blah, blah…

It began with the creations of the super powerful cameras… Three the elves got, those immortal, almost as beautiful as me beings… Seven were given to short hairy dwarves… And nine men got 'em too, though I don't see why women couldn't have… But in secret, well actually, lots of people probably knew but were too lazy to stop him; the Dark Lord Sauron forged a master camera, able to take pictures with astounding clarity, One Camera to Rule them all.

One by one people fell… blah blah… guys fought… yadda yadda…

****

Here the Ravenclaws marched out while the Gryffindors ran after them as they started to try to pretend to fight some computer generated orcs that were probably supposed to be scary but had somehow been animated and turned all kinds of odd colors like pink, purple, and yellow.

Perfect Tenshi: (continues, not seeming to notice) Yeah… They were probably winning when the Dark Lord came out… The power of the Camera was too strong…

**The Dark Lord walked out, being played by Voldemort, in a Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts with a camera around his neck. The students of Hogwarts all stopped fighting to stare at the sight of Voldemort dressed like that when they suddenly realized it was Voldemort. They all started to scream and run around like chickens with their heads cut off.**

Perfect Tenshi: Erm… Yeah… The Camera was strong… Well, all hope was lost, when Isildur, son of the king-

**Hermione, dressed in armor, looked at the camera and frowned, crossing her arms.**

Hermione: Excuse me?

Perfect Tenshi: Ahem, I mean, Isildur, daughter of the king, took up hi-er father's sword.

**Hermione goes to take the sword but Voldemort refuses to step on it.**

Voldemort: I can't step on that! I'll cut my foot!

Perfect Tenshi: Well, if you'd worn the armor like you were supposed to, we wouldn't have this problem.

Voldemort: It's not my fault you caught me on vacation!

Perfect Tenshi: Fine! Throw a rock at it!

****

Voldemort picked up a rock and threw it at the sword, breaking it.

Hermione: Cheap sword…

**She goes to chop off the camera when she realizes it's not on his hand. She looks sick for a second, then swings the *broken* sword at his head. It's not even long enough to reach all the way across his neck, so his head doesn't come off, but she manages to cut the strap on the camera in half, scratching his cheek in the process.**

Voldemort: *scream*

****

He starts glowing and suddenly there's a huge flash and he's gone, but his hat remains.

Perfect Tenshi: Sauron, the bad guy, was defeated.

****

Hermione reaches for the camera and picks it up.

Hermione: This is a nice camera… Oh, well, finders keepers…

Perfect Tenshi: The ring passed to Isildur, who could have destroyed all evil… But she liked the camera, so she kept it… And the camera has a will of its own.

It betrayed Isildur… To her death.

****

Shows Hermione floating in a river on a rubber mattress covered in ketchup (from the fries she'd just finished)-everyone thinks its blood.

Perfect Tenshi: And some things were forgotten… yadda yadda… It was lost for a really long time… Then someone found it.

****

Flashes to Snape examining the camera.

Snape: Hmm, wow, it still works after being under the water? Interesting… *Looks up at the screen* I mean, My Precious…

Perfect Tenshi: The creature Gollum got it… He went under the mountains… It consumed him (the camera, I mean, but not literally).

Snape: My precious…

Perfect Tenshi: He lived for 500 years… Blah, blah, evil grew… It abandoned Gollum… uh huh… it didn't expect to be found by the hobbit. Bilbo Baggins, of the shire.

****

Filtwick picks it up.

Flitwick: A camera?

Snape: LLOOOSSSTTT!!!!

Perfect Tenshi: Now hobbits will shape everyone's fortunes.


End file.
